Zombies! + the CDC's and UF's zombie preparedness plan

Let's talk about zombies. There has been some weird stuff happening, due mostly to drugs (drugs are bad y'all) and crazy psychopath killers (who are also bad!). But my FB page exploded with people talking about zombies.

I'm not going to crack any jokes about the face eating thing, or the body parts thing. I think it's really sad and not in any way funny. So instead, I'm going to crack on a "rival" undergraduate school. Rival in the sense that if I followed sports I would care about the rivalry.

Zombies at the Swamp

A couple of years ago, the University of Florida (which is a great school btw...even though I didn't go there!) released it's plan for a zombie invasion. There was even a form that a UF employee could fill out explaining why they had to kill their infected co-workers. They had to show "symptoms of "Zombie Behavior Spectrum Disorder (ZBSD), like references to wanting to eat brains, or lack of rational thought (although this was noted to be confusing, as managers also had this symptom).

It also called for the University Police to form a UF Zombie Response Team. Also, operational tactics like how to distinguish "zombie moans" form "other moaning that might be encountered in the workplace".

This was obviously a joke, and most universities have actual disaster plans in place. And I can promise you that every university in Florida has one that deals with hurricanes/flooding.

Cracked.com has some articles that cracked me up (and come up under a google search of zombie apocalypse), titled 5 scientific reasons a zombie apocalypse could actually happen and 7 scientific reasons a zombie outbreak would fail (quickly).

the ACTUAL poster from the CDC. 

But don't worry, the US Government has your back. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention, you know, the guys that talk about what to do in emergencies (remember Anthrax?)  and public health, have a great sense of humor. It started off as a bit of a joke, in order to engage the American populace to pay attention to preparedness messages. Now, it's just epic. The CDC's official (seriously, it's legit) Zombie Preparedness guide, in order to be prepared for a zombie apocalypse. They also include a basic zombie emergency kit that can, coincidentally, also be used during Hurricanes.

Granted, since all the real life crazy-people attacks, the CDC had to release an official statement saying that zombies didn't exist.



Extra articles: 

If for some reason (like, you don't live in America or Canada, and have no clue what the zombie news stories are...here you go). This is the non-funny stuff

1. Cannibal eats roommate in Maryland. He's been arrested for murder. 
2. Guy from Miami (who was thought to be on bath salts/god knows what) who went crazy and attacked another man and tried to eat him. He was shot and killed by the police. The victim is still in the hospital. 
3. Porn star who sent decapitated body parts to Canadian political offices. He's since been arrested in Berlin. 

The fun zombie extras!

• University of Florida's Zombie Attack Memo + zombie dispatch form
• Explanation of UF's zombie plan

Anna Wintour is my new hero

I'll admit I'm not a disciple of Vogue. Or anything incredibly fashionable. I'm afraid I'm stuck with Lilly and anything pink. And I have a love for shift dresses.

Anna Wintour would HATE my wardrobe. Sorry Ms. W.

Anna Wintour from the Wall Street Journal

But this week I feel in love with Anna Wintour because she was adorable and sassy (and quite effusive) on the Colbert Report and she supposedly banned Kim Kardashian from the Met Gala.

I don't hate Kim Kardashian. I'm just really, really, really tired of her. She's lasted longer than Paris Hilton, but they're both famous for the same reason. And it's not a reason I think any female would be thrilled about. That being said...I do like Khloe. I can't help myself.

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

I hope that video works. It's Anna Wintour on The Colbert Report. And I've only linked to YouTube because its easy.

Anyways, Anna Wintour was there to promote the show Schiaparelli and Prada: Impossible Conversations that's showing at the Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute (Met Gala = Met Museum...if anyone didn't link that). And she has a "date" with Colbert to go to Long John Silver's while wearing zebra striped sweatpants. Total hoot.

Anna Wintour and Stephen Colbert on the Colbert Report via The Hollywood Reporter

I love Colbert. He actually told her that he didn't trust Prada because he heard the Devil wore Prada. Even I, in my tulle loving gynocentrism, knew what he was hinting at. Anna Wintour took it like a pro.



Extra Articles:

1. Wall Street Journal, picture and article on Anna Wintour
2. Anna Wintour bans Kim Kardashian from Met Gala via Fox News
3. Did Anna Wintour really ban Kim Kardashian from the Met Ball via Fashionista
4. Anna Wintour Wikipedia page
5. The Metropolitan Museum of Art's exhibition of Schiaparelli and Prada: Impossible Conversation exhibition
6. Anna Wintour, the comic? Vogue editor is surprisingly funny on Colbert via the Daily Mail
7. Colbert Report video from the Colbert Nation
8. Anna Wintour spars with Stephen Colbert on Fashion, Art and Gay Marriage, also with pictures from the Met Gala via The Hollywood Reporter

Texts from Hillary

Is this old news? Sorry...it was all over Facebook but I still think it's kinda awesome. These two guys, named Adam and Stacy (who are communication specialists) created this Tumblr page (Texts from Hillary) which a bunch of meme's of Secretary Clinton and other various celebrities.

You don't have to be a Hillary fan to find it amusing, but I actually think she's a pretty cool lady. She even submitted her own meme. You can't beat that!

The original picture is from Time magazine. The photographer, Diana Walker, took the picture on a flight to Tripoli. The original pictures are linked in the Tumblr page.

President Bush, former Secretary Rice and Secretary Clinton

Secretary Clinton and (former) Representative Weiner. Remember that scandal? 

Mitt Romney and Secretary Clinton

Mark Zuckerburg (I think?)  and Secretary Clinton

her own submission to the site. 

I had to look up with a selfie was. I'm so technologically behind on the times. :( Oh well. 

Links: 

1. Texts from Hillary Tumblr page
2. State of Cool article by the New York Times

GCB (Good Christian Belles)

I think I watch way too much television. I don't mean to...I just go a bit crazy with the DVR. It tapes soooo much and then I watch it when I get a migraine or can't sleep. Which happens a lot unfortunately.

That doesn't really matter. I found a new show that I love. It's called GCB and it comes on ABC. I knew it was going to be amazing because it had Annie Potts (from Designing Women) and Kristen Chenoweth. And before it aired it courted controversy. Notice how it's G.C.B. and not Good Christian Bitches? It had to be re-titled to Good Christian Belles. There was a freak-out. Then Newt Gingrich had a hissy-fit.

Via Wikipedia

The plot-line starts with Amanda Vaughn, who was widowed by her ponzi-scheming husband, returning to Dallas. Amanda was a (really) mean girl in high school and when she hooks back up from the girls in Dallas, she realizes that they all hate her. Kristin Chenoweth plays Amanda's foil in Carlene Cockburn (I'm so not making that name up).

Bachelorette Party...the GCB way

So why GCB? You know those women...holier than thou but back stabbing and gossip mongering. No? Well, lucky you. I've met a couple and I can't stand them. But I do love Carlene Cockburn as one. The whole show is southern and over the top. And I love it.

via tv.com

Of course, some people (critics) don't like it at all. Usually I think critics are fairly useless when it comes to movies and TV. We never, ever, ever agree. But it seems to be more a certain type of critic. Fox News (via a "Southern Christian Woman" tied with Concerned Women for America-no idea who they are...and their webpage isn't loading) isn't too fond, CNN finds it to be stereotypical, Entertainment Weekly was more of a "meh" on the pilot episode, the Washington Post finds it to be stereotypical as well, tv.com skews away from it and just to round it up...Hollywood Reporter lists some more.

I think my sense of humor veers from theirs. And I'd rather be characterized (and stereo-typed) in this way than in the in-bred, hill-billy way. So if you want to get offended, I'd focus on that first. I'm southern (and christian) and not offended at all so I don't know why these guys and gals were.

You can decide for yourself of course. Here's the promo from youtube--and I'm sure you can find episodes on the web, itunes, abc's website...

Pictures from GCB's Facebook page

Links: 

Good Christian Bitches Book (by Kim Gatlin) Webpage
Good Christian Belles (GCB) Wikipedia page
GCB IMSb page
GCB Promo YouTube Link
Interview with Marisol Nichols, who plays Heather
GCB's twitter page
ABC's GCB page
GCB's facebook page

The Queen Tweets

Honestly, she does! (or someone for her does...) It's updates on tours, changing of the guards, other royal tours. Very nice and stately. And the Queen only follows Clarence House. Which is...Prince Charles I think? I learned today, while looking at all this, that I know nothing about British history, politics or well...most anything. I took French history, Irish History, Scottish History, Russian History, Canadian History, Italian History, Asian History, Indian History, Egyptian history...but not English. Sorry England!

I also didn't watch the royal wedding...because it was 4 AM...and it took about five hours on the DVR. Eh.

I'll tell you what I did enjoy though...The Queen's super fake twitter accounts. There are some funny people in England.

The Twitter account Queen_UK is mentioned in this article, and there's even a book. Fabulous.

Here's the account hm_the_Queen

This is QueenLizII's Twitter Account

There is also a (fake) Kate Middleton account, Prince William, Prince Philip (oh dear...), well...the whole (fake) family is on there. The Queen's are the best IMO.


Links:

Clarence House's Twitter Account here
The legitimate account of the Queen and co. here
Queen_UK Twitter account is here...except for you Nick Clegg.
Hm_the_queen Twitter account is here
QueenLizII's Twitter account is here
Kate Middleton (@MrsOfWales) is here
Prince William (@William_HRH) is here
Prince Philip (@PrincePhilipHRH) is here

People Freaking Out at a "Hunted House"

These pictures were sent to me by my dad. He's learned to forward e-mails and has become the forward king of all his friends. I don't actually mind getting his emails because he has a ton of great finds and this was one of them.

Without further ado I give you...photos from Nightmares Fear Factory (of Niagara Falls, Canada)'s Flickr page

Real Housewives of Disney

Did you catch Lindsey Lohan on SNL? It's okay, I didn't either. I've been a bit busy actually, college application deadlines are coming up fast.

I don't think I can upload it straight from the web...but it's on this website. And if that doesn't work, I'll add it below as well.

LOVED Kristin Wiig's Cinderella.

Best line (Cinderella) - "Here's some good advice. Never marry a guy who's really into shoes".

Although this one cracked me up as well (Snow White) - "Looks like my stepmother isn't the only evil queen in town"


Links:
SNL's 5 Best Skits: Lindsay Lohan's Less-than-Stellar Comeback
The Real Housewives Of Disney: 'SNL' Pitches A New Bravo Series (VIDEO)

Picture from : here